Chuck Yates Needs A Job

0:20 Hey, everybody. Welcome to Chuck Yates needs a job. The podcast, the deep dive on landman tonight, the season finale that nobody asked for. You see the three of us here on camera, me, Matt,

0:36 Gates, and then Boor is in the cuck chair. I'm in the cuck chair. He's over there. I'm just going to watch you guys do it. He's sitting there watching us do it. You can't see him. I think

0:52 Jacob's going to like pop up his Twitter feed photo or something when he talks. He does have a like. Anyway, appreciate it. We've got a live audience. So God knows what will happen there. All

1:04 right, we're going to kick off. And Matt, I'm going to go to you. We kick off with a Paul Harvey. Yeah. A day. Yeah. Paul Harvey. Was that. That's the narrator at the start. That's the

1:19 narrator, do you not know who Paul Harvey is? I know who Paul Harvey is. That was Paul Harvey, great. The rest of the story, right? The rest of the story, yeah. Yeah, I thought that was an

1:30 interesting way to start out the final episode of the season. Yeah. And I think it was setting pretty much a good tone for the industry as well And I thought the throwback was really cool. Yeah, I

1:48 like the black and white. That was awesome. All right, I got, I went to Perplex City today, just so we could have some facts. Two interesting facts on Paul Harvey. Number one, he was born in

1:60 Tulsa, Oklahoma. Yeah. So, oil town on that. Number two, he coined the term Reaganomics and guestimate, how about that? I've said guesstimate too many times in my life. I've coined the

2:15 termgates to me. It's really gates to me. It's really gates to me, my wife hates it, but you know, whatever. But there's an ointment we can get for that, right? It's where she measures

2:25 everything out on the wall and I just like, I look at it and I go, Ah, here's where the nail needs to go. And just hit the nail in and hang something. And she's like, Fuck, it's always right.

2:36 Nice. I hate gates to me. That was perfect. All right, so we open up with, so Boer, we open up with Marty, her with Monty having heart surgery. Pick us up there, what did you think? At least

2:51 Demi Moore is, you know, we're seeing some acting range here. Like, it was so weird that we have not seen any Demi Moore acting, just kind of like in and out. She could have been a hundred

3:00 dollar extra. And then, at least she's like talking, and it seems like she's getting into a role here. Can I step in here? Yeah, please do. I've been tough on her before I said she was a

3:11 de-actress. Right. But I thought she built it Yeah, no, she's great. I thought she was good. Yeah, Chuck, you probably are thinking about other things in contact with her,

3:24 but I mean, she moved up to A for me. Yeah. What I thought was strange about that scene though, when they start off Demi Moore saying the dietitian found him unresponsive on the floor, and I was

3:37 like, Holy fuck, he's in the hospital. Like, come on. He's hooked up to all the goddamn monitors, and you saw at the end of the last episode that the heart monitor's going off, and he's like

3:49 struggling. And nobody comes. Yeah, like, what's the point of being in the hospital? I'm in the hospital, because he was trying to get up like, Help me, can someone help me, please? We could

3:56 talk about this. It's more of a metaphor for centralized medicine, and we can go deeper on this, right? Oh, do you go, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, it's 'cause everybody was out in my hallway

4:07 getting Jerry Jones's autograph. That was actually the issue. But you notice his daughters were there. Remember that one time he taught, He's like, my daughter's here. So weird. Never made

4:17 sense to me that in the couple episodes go where they said he said something like, Are my daughters here? And

4:24 Tommy said, No. And he goes, Yeah, I didn't expect him to be, or whatever. I'm like, Well, that whole thing doesn't make sense to me. First of all, they're there on this one, outside like

4:33 crying. And he has like a driver for him. It's like at the end, right? That's maybe. I think that was at the end that they were - Well, but even when they were at the beginning, it was like

4:44 they were a couple of kidnap kids stuck in the corner. They didn't look like, What is going on here? Yeah, the kids have gone out. Right. So the thing I loved about this is you're right. Demi

4:55 Moore stepped up. And you know, the wildest thing is, Demi Moore just won the Golden Globe for substance. You know, and if you have not watched her speech with her accepting that award,

5:08 everybody needs to go do it. It's the first win she's ever had as an actor And she talks about how some producer called her a pop. corn actress,

5:21 and she basically could sell tickets, but she was never gonna get an award, you know?

5:25 And actually go see her daughters react, 'cause that's a genuine, holy shit, mom just won, and all that, so I do think she crushed it, and I really love the line when it's, she's sitting there

5:40 and she goes, 28 years of marriage, you know the last thing I said to him, you need to shave I mean, so the squal and I were talking about this. Okay. And we were like, why the fuck is she

5:51 beating herself up over the, you know, that? I mean, you're gonna say, I can't say I love you at the end of every sentence. You know, and - You could. Wait, I guess - You're in the culture.

6:00 As soon as I said

6:05 that, she's like reach over, she's like, I love you. And I was like, I'm gonna die or something. Like, why is she beating herself up over there? Yeah, it's 100. Hers would have been like -

6:14 Please, speak up. Could you get the fuck out of here, please? So Boar has a heart attack right there and dies. What's the last thing that you said to him? I hope you have a heart attack.

6:26 The Wayland Jennings buddy Holly story, right? Do we all know that? Do we know this story? No, I don't know. So Wayland Jennings was the bass player for the crickets when Buddy Holly was going

6:36 on tour. And anyway, basically what happened is the big bopper came to Wayland Jennings and said, hey, I'm sick. Will you take my spot on the bus 'cause it's freezing, the heater was out on the

6:50 bus and let me go on the airplane. And Wayland Jennings said yes. Last thing Buddy Holly said to Wayland Jennings was, I hope you freeze your ass off in that bus. Wayland Jennings last line to

7:04 Buddy Holly was, I hope you're playing crashes. Holy shit. Live with that shit. God, my business partner and I say that shit each other all the time. It's like I hope you have a horrible -

7:13 Fucking day to day like we will say happened yet he said at once and it happened right that's true if you say it one hundred times you know it's just my business Partner I hope you get to be six foot

7:23 one day Yeah why AM I still growing alright so so after we have Demi Moore Crushing I think she did I think she did really well on that literally we go back to transition and that we're going to talk

7:45 about the farm out Yeah soccer percent that was the core of that are fair at all there are enough it's ok they're talking about it's one hundred and sixty seven million dollar farm out and you know I

7:60 wanted to put it to bore and two he you know he's talking about the eighty twenty split initially until they recoup their money and then what was it That's 65, 35. Yeah, so like what did y'all

8:16 think of that part of the discussion because they outlayed it in what, two episodes ago and then they were just kind of like recapping it and we've talked about it at length on previous episodes and

8:31 what do y'all think about the way they kind of portrayed how that deal works out? I mean, if you're asking if it's realistic, you know, we've done deals where we had to bring in a rig Like, I

8:41 think I may have mentioned that I did, like Joe, Jay Cleo, Thompson's last deal, me and him in person. And it was, he had, we had some leases expiring him. So we had to give up shitty terms

8:50 like that. If you're asking that part of it, like, you know, we, these leases are either gonna die or I was gonna make a deal with a guy who had a rig next door. And so perhaps, I don't even

9:00 remember what the distress situation was with the seller. They were after this, the bank. I know.

9:08 He couldn't raise the cowgirl. He's over leverages. He's over leverages. There's no more, he couldn't get any more. So whatever the case may be, you find yourself in those positions and you

9:14 either get a zero or you make a deal like that. Yeah, I think that like the 8020 and the 6535, it was just kind of thrown out. So I don't understand who was getting 80, who was getting 20 and who

9:27 was getting 6535 on the reversion, but I assume they had 20. It reverts and they've got the majority interest after that.

9:37 I think that's how it went. But I thought it was really interesting as they were talking about, like, what could we turn this for? And it's like you could make

9:47 12, 13 billion, or you could sell the papers. He said it's potentially a 10X. And I was like, oh, that's pretty fucking huge. That's like, yeah, no shit. Doubt for a farm out. That's crypto

9:59 money. If you have a 10X potential, you're not taking shitty terms like that. Right. You know what I mean? Right.

10:06 You're not giving up a

10:11 10x for

10:13 an 8020. It's not, you're about 30 or whatever. Yeah, whatever, if you don't pay for 10 to be. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, contract, ooh, contract. I was in, I was in Telluride, Colorado,

10:27 December 26th, and Kyle Miller calls me and says, Concho is willing to sell the field next to meif we can get a deal done in a week. And I was like, Holy shit, okay So I had a model on the sheet

10:37 of paper in front of me that my guys had built that basically said, if we could just do what we'd been doing on our acreage, on the offsetting acreage, we'd make a 20 rate of return. And then it

10:51 went in and looked at long laterals, 'cause basically that acreage was blocked up where we could drill long laterals. Over here we were checkerboard with Anadarko, so we couldn't. So if long

11:01 laterals, if we got two X for the same D and sea cost. i had a thirty five per cent rate of return in front of me and then I had the model that showed if I could find one other zone that looked like

11:16 the wolf camp that I would make a fifty per cent rate of return and all that was based on forty dollar oil cause that that December and the Day I signed the PSC seven days later Owes at twenty seven

11:30 so twenty no no no this was way before though this was back for sixteen and all this but so there are those ten baggers out there but you're taking more risk than you realize that's that's the biggest

11:47 thing with this farm out or somewhat risk but that's also where demi came in and said let's roll the dice roll dice for more time Yeah she's putting a lot of trust in Tommy you know and and Tommy was

11:59 dead set against it two episodes ago or three episodes ago when Mani called In during that initial meeting and said, here are the terms. And Tommy said, hey, you're putting all the chips in. And

12:14 Monte said, well, they're my fucking chips. So Monte was the one that was pushing the whole deal. And Demi's kind of backing him up with his wishes on that. But Tommy was not on board with any of

12:28 that initially. Well, you sort of feel like, though, let's roll the dice one more time. Like, she might go broke, but she'll go kind of rich man broke, like my friend Dura Wagner, for

12:38 instance, and one of my best buddies, Dura Wagner. He had a note called on him by Beel and whatever. It's a bad deal. But he saw this side company make him like a million bucks a month from some

12:50 old non-op. I'm like, he's like so down in the mouth. I'm like, you are rich as shit. And you're still going to be rich as shit. They're not taking that from you. He's like, no, they're going

12:60 to let me keep that little million a month I got.

13:03 Chuck Yates needs a job, pretty funny. At that point, it's not about the money. It's a chase, right? Yeah, totally. Yeah, it's a hundred percent. And losing sucks. Exactly, you don't want

13:14 to lose. It's about the deal. And so, to her credit, I mean, she was honoring what Monty wanted. He wanted to be remembered for what he did with the money. I think the greatest line in there

13:25 was time he got, well, so the fucking plane, that buys a hell of high school. High school football stadium. Yeah Anyway, that was personal selling the plane.

13:37 Ouch.

13:40 So the six foot has come back to get - Did you like me? Does anybody else have anything to add to the farm out talk? 'Cause that was about the most substance we had oil field related. Yeah. The

13:52 rest of it was like - Anybody? I thought we've talked about this a couple of times. I thought it was generally realistic. I mean, close enough for government work, yeah easy enough for most

14:02 people to understand. Also, that's perfect for the audience, I guess, to maybe be general about it. Yeah, yeah. All right, so let's jump into the next scene. I have given Taylor Sheridan

14:15 props on his soundtrack because ZZ Top last time, greatest useful of Grange. It was so fucking cliché, but girls, girls, girls at the top was far. I'm just pissed that Rick didn't come on the

14:30 podcast. Yeah, where the hell, Rick? I thought I could get him or Mark, you know, to do something. I thought '90s was gonna be able to get him to show up. I tried, he must be a dooper.

14:40 You've been stalking his ass enough, so.

14:43 All I can say is this, he's between you and Denver. Yeah, yeah. Hey '90s. I don't think we've met, but good to meet you. I know y'all have met. Y'all have met at my happy hours.

14:55 For the record, Laura Haines, I have no idea who the CEO of Rick Susan. I've had no communication with

15:02 him. I've never been to a Rick's. Check the transcripts. All right, Gates, go through the, go through the topless far scene for me. Lay that out, what the hell? I mean, that's not really my

15:13 forte.

15:15 You know, the. He's like, but I guess I'll do it.

15:20 So before my wife and I, landman wife and I were even dating,

15:29 I went on a spring break, fall break. I don't remember, spring break, spring break, trip to Napa Valley. And her parents and my mom were going out there to Napa for her 21st birthday. And my

15:45 mom said, hey, if you don't have any other plans and you want to bring a buddy or whatever, come along. And I was like, I don't really drink wine, Sure, whatever, that sounds fun. San

15:57 Francisco, like, we'll go check it out. My buddy's response was, Weed is legal in California. Let's fucking go.

16:06 We went out there and the day that she turned 21, we were like, Hey, you're coming with us. Like, we did dinner with the family and everything. We were like, We're taking you somewhere special.

16:20 She's like, What's going on? We're like, We're taking you to a strip club And this was way before we had even thought about dating and everything. And it was a strip club in San Francisco. They

16:34 claim they're the first topless bar in San Francisco, but I figure there's probably a lot of places to claim that. We went there with your sister. And they had a

16:48 two-story stripper pole on the stage. Yeah, yeah. Pelican club or something like that.

16:56 You know what I'm talking about. My wife was like trying to save girls in there. Like she was like, it's like, you can see like, you can see like one and a half stories of the poll, but there's

17:09 like a crow's nest at the top. It was in a movie where, yes, it was. Vince Vaughn worked for Google in some weird, stupid, old. The interns. The interns. The interns. It was in that movie.

17:19 And so, like, the girls can go to the very top of the pole and they have, like, a little, like, cubby hole or whatever. And, like, they can, like, check their makeup and they have, like,

17:29 you know, water and stuff. So, they can, like, climb all the way up and then disappear for a minute and then come back down. So, we walk in with my wife and this girl is coming down, upside

17:43 down with her legs crossed, spinning down the pole. Hell yeah and she gets halfway down and then it goes.

17:54 Creep!

17:56 And my wife, not my wife then, goes fuck it, I am so out of here and tries to take off. And everybody that was sitting there in the crowd, we had told everybody, like it's her 21st birthday and

18:09 everything, everybody in the crowd was like, no, no, no, like go sit up front. Yeah. She's like fine, whatever, get me a drink. So we get her a drink and she sits up front, this girl

18:19 finishes her, you know, rug burn or whatever, going down the ball. Crawls straight up to my now wife and says, who's this little starlet you brought in with you? And that was the point where

18:34 she's like, fucking I'm out. That's it, like, you're right now. I was really up. I mean, like, yes, the strip club scene, like that's - That's land man, you know, 101. Yes. That's the

18:46 tater I've been to a hell of a lot of them. It's a lot more fun when my wife goes. Every time we go to New Orleans, we end up at the Penthouse Club. Oh, yeah, it's a race. At some point, yeah.

18:58 It's a race place. Yes, it is. And back to Rick's. I'm not saying I know what

19:06 this place is, but I've been to, I don't have a clue what you guys are talking about at all. The amount of reasons I've never seen. They spent on that in this episode, seemed kind of absurd to me.

19:16 Yeah, that was Fort Worth, Rick's, by the way. Yeah,

19:19 it is Did, in the - One of my buddies, one of my buddies said, the only thing I've recognized so far is that that's in Fort Worth. Yeah, that's Fort. That's in Fort Worth. Not in Midland or

19:28 Odessa. Yeah, I'll see you really to know, Odessa, it's like in the middle of a laydown. It is, it's, absolutely. What was like, Jaguars is close to there, like it's a nasty little place,

19:39 honestly. Like, I mean, I'm gonna - You know, Rick's great. You're gonna feel than having a strip club in the middle of a pipe yard, so. Man, you gotta meet supply in the man. Yes, that's

19:46 right, just get him right from work They're working.

19:52 Fucking hell. Rider, Stetson, or whatever the fuck that guy's name is. They're working QB1 into season two, I think. I'm not gay or nothing. And it's just good looking. Look at this show, I

20:04 was like trying to cover the screen with my wife when I were watching this. I was like, don't look at it. Would you suck his dick for a Bentley? Look,

20:11 is this an all, not a Bentley, but maybe an eighth lease or something, I don't know Like,

20:19 I will say this, one of the most underappreciated lines of the show, I'm sure is, mama, you can't get pregnant from what I promised him. Good God, that whole fucking thing makes me sick. That

20:31 is so bizarre. 'Cause I got it, you know, just. Hold on, hold on, okay. I'm skipping forward in my notes, but I think this is something we have to do just real quick, 'cause we've gotten to

20:44 this point Let me get to my notes just so I get it right.

20:49 Can we all grab hands just real quick? And what we're gonna say is, Michelle Randolph is 27 years old. She was born on 911, 1997. Ah. She's the one that plays Ainsley. She's not 17, she's 27,

21:07 so it's okay, we have these weird thoughts on them. And writer's probably 30. Yeah, it's okay, it's okay that we do this. But how old is QB1? Yeah, I don't know We're talking about weird

21:18 thoughts about QB1, really. You were. You were. Hey, one of the most underappreciated parts of the whole strip club scene was Eleanor, the older lady. She was on fire, I can't remember some of

21:32 the quotes. I love my ass off. She was great, she was awesome. She was pissed off until he came out and then she was like, oh fuck yeah. We're gonna do this again on the bus and she's like, I'm

21:42 coming back tomorrow. Yeah, I know, she got up and was excited She got some lot I honestly thought I said I said to my wife, I was like, she's gonna die. Like she's about to have a heart attack.

21:53 'Cause they talked about having a doctor. Yeah. Yeah. They played that up pretty big. Right, right. That would have been funny as so. All right, so we get

22:05 out of the strip club and although I will say this about land man, people are always like, hey Chuck, is it real on oil and gas and stuff. I think the strip club scene, when they come out of

22:18 there and Ainsley goes, mama, we did a really good thing today. I think that is the moral equivalent of the geologist telling me it's a geologic success.

22:31 So I think that's real life right there. I have never come out of a strip club and said to a friend, we did a really good thing today. Yes,

22:40 I think it's banned in the constitution, right? One of my buddies over there was on his bachelor party in Vegas. and we left the spearmint rhino and the sun was coming up. And I said, guys, this

22:52 is our varsity blues moment. And I was like, everybody get together for a photo and he tried to run off in the parking lot. And like, I think some random people grabbed him and dragged him back

23:02 into the photo. And there is still a photo somewhere out there into the sunrise. Of all of us and we're like, yeah. And he's standing there and he's like, fuck this. Nice, nice. All right So

23:16 the next scene in the, well, let's give Ainsley props for this. She's talking to QB and she does make the great line of life is a two minute drill. And let's just play the whole fucking game this

23:30 way. I'll give her props for that. That's kind of cool. I don't think she knows what that means, but sure. Yeah, whatever. Exactly. Two minutes. Yeah, it's Tim Walz like in terms of a

23:41 football mod. It's different, right? All right All

23:44 right, so we're going to bore on this one 'cause this is his favorite. Tommy calls Rebecca to negotiate a farm out and like, what the fuck, Rebecca thinks she's getting killed. Hold on, I want

23:55 to say first off. I'd kill her. The second that Tommy walks out of there, I thought that was like the most land man shit that he's done the entire season on this show is you got a directive from

24:11 the boss. In this case, it's Cammie anymore or whatever. And she said, let's roll the dice one more time Go ahead and close this thing for me. And the second that he got out of there, out of

24:24 that situation, he started making phone calls to make shit happen. And he was going to move this thing forward no matter what was going on and no matter how people felt about it. He got Nate on

24:39 board with everything. He called Rebecca and we'll get to that in a second, The most land man thing that he's done is we fill the gaps on all of the other professions and just continue to move

24:55 things forward, get everybody in line on the same page. Yeah, yeah, I agree, I agree. So then he calls Rebecca and all the shit talking. Yeah, he calls Rebecca and she's like, No I, want to

25:07 meet at the patch, you know, 'cause you're, you know, perhaps going to kill me. Which is like what I would love to kill Rebecca, by the way. I get to be the awesome moment if she got killed in

25:16 that show But I don't know what the question was, but I can say that, like, I fantasize about killing Rebecca all too often. Blah, blah, blah, Rebecca. And then, you know, she didn't even

25:26 want the, I mean, such a millennial fucking thing for her to

25:29 say was like, I don't even believe in this. I mean, like - That's later. Yeah, that is later. Yeah, but you're a defense attorney, come on. Yeah, first she was like, yeah, the guy that

25:41 just threatened my life wants me to meet him out in the middle of nowhere. That seems like a good idea. And he was like, I'm fucking president of the company. Like, you're gonna do what I say.

25:52 It's also ridiculous 'cause they're giving her a crash course. But she didn't know that at the time. That was a problem. Yeah, that's true. When she realized that he told her. And there's a

26:01 bread and there's oil between them. And then that's all you need to know. Go negotiate this farm out. But then, but then she says. I need a closer. I need a killer. I need a killer. I need a

26:11 close. I want you to know that I'm licensed to carry in this state That was good. And his response was. You don't need a fuckin' license to carry. Why do you think everybody waves to each other

26:21 when we drive by? 'Cause everybody's fuckin' armed.

26:25 Like, they continue to just dig the hole deeper with her. They do. Every time they could have her say. If I saw that actress on the street, I'm probably gonna scream at her. Like you bitch. So

26:39 I think the most land man thing that Tommy has done during the whole show. Was he - Rip Sigs and drink beer? Nah, no, 'cause I

26:50 mean, that's pretty land man, but finance bros can do that too. When he sits there and says to Rebecca, nothing will fuck up a deal more than a good lawyer. That was such a good lawyer. That is

27:02 land, that is land man bro. Any time I hear a fucking lawyer get involved, I'm like, we're not doing this deal. Give me some more booze. No, sorry, sorry. He's trying to blow me more. No,

27:13 that was one of my favorite oil show That's good, that's good. No, that was really good. Not that I hate lawyers, I love lawyers. So one other point I think we have to make - I like women, yeah.

27:27 One other point I think we have to make real quick at this point in the show. So we're kind of like going through it and you're right, he gets Nate on board and Nate's like, you're asking me to

27:38 swallow a lot of pride. Can we make a declaration right now? Nate is the best dude on the show. Absolutely. I think so. Nate's just such a solid son of a cultist. He is a little bit strict about

27:48 the real following for my taste, but you know. No, he's

27:51 super safe, but he's a good dude. Rewind this podcast 45 seconds to a good lawyer, I'll fuck up a deal. I get it. Yeah, but yeah, I think he's a solid dude. With Nate at the front door with a

28:07 writer. I was just about to say that's one of my favorite. And that's not Nate, that's Dale Dale, Nate, that was a fun attorney. The petroleum engineer. I like Dale. Which is oil mutt. I love

28:17 Dale. I like

28:19 Dale. And I love that the quarterback's not a complete cocksucker. He's like, you know, very like sort of humble about it. He's like, well, you said, you know, like he's not like, I'm going

28:27 to beat your ass or anything, which he could obviously annihilate. He's QB1 from Friday Night Light. Somebody's respectful. It seemed like they were. It seemed like they were trying to recreate

28:37 the West Texas version of the Bad Boys II scene. Yeah, with the dude at the door, where he's like, you play for the fucking Miami Heat? Right,

28:48 yeah, that guy, that guy, Ryder couldn't win at that door. And that was awesome. Like every day he was saying, you know. All right, what do you mean? Now that was, okay, so we gotta jump to

28:60 the next scene in here. And you guys will get this 'cause we did Rebecca, what is my pet peeve? My pet peeve is Ariana and Cooper, right? So we jump to them in a scene. And I have decided that

29:17 Ariana and Cooper are like walking into an ice cold lake and it's right when the water hits your balls. That is what a scene with them is like. I'm telling you, okay, and you know how bad this is?

29:32 Like every one of their scene just slows it down, grinds it to a heart. It's like listening to nails, scratch down the chalkboard. So I decided there's gotta be some redeeming fact to this. So I

29:49 went to internet and I'm like, give me some fascinating facts about Paulina Chavez who plays the actress Ariana. And it's kind of interesting she grew up in San Antonio. She lives in San Antonio,

30:04 grew up in El Paso. She trained in Louisville, all this But I asked - Oh, she did, really? Yeah. Okay. So I asked for 10 cool facts about her. Do you know what fact number 10 was? What? She

30:17 is often spotted consuming alcohol at parties and events despite being of a young age and hot Cheetos are her favorite snack. It sounds like - Who doesn't love hot Cheetos? Does it sound like it's

30:31 hot? Well, I get that, they're still horrible. So does anyone want to talk about Cooper and Ariana? Yeah, well, I already went on the left. Y'all go ahead. No, go ahead. I got plenty of

30:40 thoughts about Cooper. He finally seemed like a human at one point. Like, he's the worst actor in history, but he also, like, he finally seemed like a human when he found that picture of her,

30:50 that kind of like, you know, risque picture. And he's like holding it from her. Right. I was like, that's the most human I've ever seen him. He's like a fucking robot actor. The rest of it.

30:59 That's all I have to say. I hate Cooper No, I hate Cooper too. He is? No, he's an engineer. He's an engineer. No, he was like a semester away from being a petroleum engineer, which is why he

31:11 was a geology minor, which is why you're not wrong A bird has got it right. A bird. Yeah. Not

31:22 confirmed. Not human. So let's just skip their love of first time. That would last forever. Like Taylor Sheridan does this. It's like B-roll. That was just B-roll. Like she's looking photos

31:35 pictures for 10 minutes. Nails on the chalkboard, but she's like moving the clothes out of the closet I was watching with Jeff the wife's and wasted time and I just kept hitting the 10 second But

31:44 like we can just I promise it'll be the same thing every time we hit this and it was yeah

31:50 Yeah, totally. That's it. That's you got to be careful with that cuz parent paramount will hit you with the commercials Yeah, they will all right, so you're watching it on Amazon or I am you're

32:01 cheating somehow. Yeah

32:04 So boy, you're gonna be on my side here cuz I even hate to do this cuz I do love these two gentlemen that are sitting in between us Ooh, what's about the where where did Ariana get married? What

32:16 city San Antonio? Yes magical city It's like Italy to eat it's like fucking Italy with a river And

32:29 you in there past ten o'clock on Friday

32:36 It's cemented in the whole thing. If you want anyone to talk real about - I like it too. I wanna talk real about San Antonio, we can do that. Yeah, it's just saying. Too easy to expert. Okay,

32:43 if you wanna talk about the ditch - It's a fucking ditch. Last week - It was fair. So, so did they, so did they. Last week,

32:54 I guess it was saws, said they accidentally released, I think it was like 100, 000 gallons of sewage

33:05 into the San Antonio River, and it was an accident, and I've - I'm nobody noticed. Yeah, we just - I retweeted it, and I was like,

33:14 I think that's pretty standard procedure, you're like,

33:18 it smells like sewage, like - I do love the river, well, I still like it though. I like river. It's a fake river. I know, it's a fake river, I fucking love it. It's cool, it's about the ride.

33:26 It's not the most magical place on Earth It's not actually a. It stuff falls, Texas, waterfalls are the most magical place on earth, obviously. It's not the fucking Riverwalk in San Antonio.

33:38 It's not a fake river, it's actually like a real river. I don't know, it doesn't look very river. It's just Antonio River, but it's been - It just isn't the whole - It's been the way that it

33:48 normally does. It's been re-routed and restructured. You know what, that's so sweet though, that that was like her thing. The most magical city, like Italy I don't want to make fun of her, fuck.

33:60 She is from Midland. Yeah.

34:05 You've talked about it. You love San Antonio, right? I don't have a lot of water within three hours of Midland. What's the -

34:14 Patrick is like, fair enough. When you go to Midland and someone has a boat in their driveway, I'm like, Where the fuck are you hauling this son of a bitch, too? Horseshoe Bay.

34:25 Yeah What's the cheesy mix?

34:28 and restaurant that I love so much in San Antonio with Casarillo. No, with the Brazil. No, Bill Clinton's jogging. They've got the velvet Bill Clinton jogging. What downtown? Yeah, it's the

34:40 tourist trap. No, Brazil. No, no, it's over near the it's on the east side or west side of downtown like inside in the I know what you're talking. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about I use

34:52 seat there every. Chris. Terrible Mexican food. Me too. Yeah. There we go. Me too. I ate there every Christmas. That's your contribution. The ex-mother-in-law lived in same town. All right,

35:06 let's jump into the scene. So Rebecca, Dale, Nate, Tommy, they meet out at the out of the field. And yeah, the transferred terminal, and they're laying it out there, and

35:23 more gov. This is more Rebecca. And then what caused the earthquakes in Oklahoma? The earthquakes in Oklahoma, like fuck off. I mean, you can't get any worse for me. You can't get any worse for

35:33 me. And what Dale was like, there have been earthquakes there for a long time. Before fracking. And I love, here's what I love about that scene though, is like you saw this moment come over her

35:46 where she realized I'm about to make a lot of money. Yeah. Like her morals went out the windows. So, and they didn't say it, but you could just see like, intuitively, she's about to be in

35:55 charge of something really important. She's working her way into the company hardcore. All of her morals are going, I mean, she's gonna have a diesel truck next season. She is like fucking,

36:07 she's gonna have all the landman life stickers, like she is like totally conservative. But she's wearing a mega. She's wearing a fucking, like pantsuit from Hillary Clinton's wardrobe or something.

36:20 Kim Jong-un's. Kim Jong-un. And I feel like - I know, I know. I know, I know, I was like fuck. No, she's trading out for some square toes soon. Don't worry. Yes, she's fixing this. The

36:30 moral high ground gets windy at night. That was so good. That, okay. So let's do this justice. 'Cause I arguably think in all 10 episodes, this is the greatest thing said Tommy said, there is

36:44 an alternative. You can throw your phone away and trade your Mercedes in for a bike or a horse and start hunting for your own food and living in a tent. But you'll be the only one and it won't make

36:56 a damn bit of difference. Plus, I hear the moral high ground gets really windy at night. So good. So good. Got it. I mean, who wrote the, like, what conservative do they have working behind

37:09 the scenes who wrote these amazing quotes? Well, these are so fucking good. The best part of the show is the pushback on. all of the like end fossil fuels, renewables, green energy, all of that

37:21 shit. Those are the best parts of the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the fact that we now have the liberal media talking about how the show needs less of a fossil fuels focus is amazing. Oh, come

37:31 on. Yeah, and I'm horrible. I consider that an option to be posed. That's a fucking pose. For our industry. Yeah.

37:36 Come on. The other great line in that scene is - Yeah, LA. LA times. I'm the Geico caveman looking dude. That is a mongrel That is not a human. He looks like he just got out of prison. And like,

37:51 he's been in prison for 30 years. Can we tag him on this? Yeah, let's talk about

37:58 a piece of it. Let's rip it in. Maybe. No, we want you to come join us. We'll do a rap

38:02 season two. I hate him less than I hate Rebecca. Come on the show. We'll talk, you know, I'll be real respectful. I'll get you wasted. We're gonna have a lot of fun. Hey, Rebecca, you should

38:12 run for Congress for an oil company. That's good fucking bullshit. That's good bullshit. Chuck, you think anyone on the actual landman show, whether it's the big actors all the way down to Rhett,

38:24 do you think anyone's actually seen your podcast? Oh yeah, Ali Larter has hit me up in the end. Jimmy, totally. There's a lot of views. Oh yeah.

38:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, actually what was really cool is I was scrolling through Facebook 'cause I have no life and I'm sitting there being, you know, boring. And just random sight,

38:48 dude said, I love Land Man so much, it's my favorite show. And the thing I love almost even more than this is these random guys talking about it. Really? I can't go, yeah. No, I think Jacob

39:01 was talking about like all the interaction we get on. Yeah, and I said clearly the guys were dead and he said, I think he's eight years old.

39:11 That's right.

39:14 Exactly, one other line from that scene that was great, our great grandparents built a world that runs on this shit, we either feed it or the world stops. Totally. That was a great one. There's

39:25 so many. All right, so now we jump into the whole cartel thing and I've got a few things on that, gather them. All right, so I have some thoughts. I do too. So that's four punches to the face.

39:41 Okay, he's already taken One underhand hammer swing to the face. One hammer to the wrist, a rusty nail through the leg, gasoline over the head. Colin, you talked about nobody talk shit to your

39:55 face, but I'm gonna talk shit to your face. You wouldn't still be talking shit to somebody if they did that shit to you, bro. Absolutely. Like, absolutely. Man, like, you're gonna give up

40:05 after that, right? I'm gonna at least be nice to the fucking guys. Like? Like Andy Garcia, he was so ungrateful the God that saved his fucking life. I'd be like, Yeah, we're staying out of

40:14 your shit. You're staying out of mind. Set my fucking ass on fire. And I'm like, What the fuck? Swell fella. Like, you're the chief that just killed the guy who was about to torture me to death?

40:24 We're best friends forever. I'm like, I don't care what you do. Yeah. Well, and I think you'll probably talk about it. I'd give that guy some overrides. But how he got from that toOn the Couch

40:34 just. Yeah. What now? And him and Dale are just riding, and Dale's like, How are you up here? And he's like, Mentally? He's like, I think I'm gonna start drinking again.

40:46 No, Colin, seriously, like, you're not still fucking talking shit after that, right? Somebody hits you in the face with a hammer. Why are you asking Paul? I'm pretty retarded.

40:58 There we go.

41:01 Andy Garcia, though, right? I was so, like, I've now, like, I've always liked the showFine, I'm pumped now that Andy Garcia is in. Yeah, well, but the whole deal about like, You know, we

41:12 need to talk about that. When he when Tommy is talking about you know like the the money's underneath the surface and it's like we need to talk about that

41:25 time many company give you two and twenty with an eight yeah no problem come on Buddy I'll make the time Yeah They're they're building up to a bigger relationship there but totally that was the

41:37 majority of the episode where if there are any leaders out there that one invests in my deal just holler just said to hit the D M's Yeah the Guy is available for Cartels Yeah you I'll Give you Two and

41:52 eighteen when you know no problem everyone's field is fair game right Yeah that's right that's Right Yeah. Which is my question real quick, guys. He kept talking about, does the boss know that?

42:03 Does the boss know that? Yeah, yeah. And so did he say that. Yeah. And then the boss came in and shot that guy. He told me, he didn't kill this. And he held the boss the whole time. I don't,

42:11 ooh. That's good. I don't know, but I know - He kept telling us, does the boss think that? He said, I'm the boss. And then he got killed. And then he got killed. He got killed. That's it.

42:20 So it makes me think he knew who the boss was and he was playing games. God damn it. That's true Like Tommy, like I told, I told him. I think it was situational. I mean, I think, I think if

42:32 you're Tommy and you're the head land guy and you're talking to somebody, you know he's not the boss. There's, I mean, he even said that when he was talking to Rebecca, I need somebody between me

42:44 and the ultimate deal. A buffer, a buffer. Yeah, I like that. It's rare that we get to actually talk to the boss in our business, like, right? You don't, you talk to a decision maker, might

42:59 the box Yeah most roads are generally I dunno my boss was very like but if you try to try to go over somebody's head they're going to fucking H EtO Yeah Forever You're asking for trouble descended I

43:16 mean that is a thing like if you go over someone's head or board and kill you or is the box so Yeah and My Little Shitty I'm going strict that's right that's right Yeah that's true the the So We've

43:31 got great facts cause I agree with you Andy Garcia is now involved I'm in I love that we finally got Demi Moore back love that too and side note to a to andy Garcia facts so he was born in Havana Cuba

43:49 immigrated here when he was five years old bay of pigs episode family got out to cool facts Mickey Rourke coached him in little league baseball. That's so fucking weird. That's so weird. That's

44:01 what we heard. Holy shit, that's weird. The wrestler, you know, Mickey Rourke did that. Holy fuck. Number two, Andy Garcia won a Grammy for best traditional Tropic, tropical Latin album. How

44:16 many fucking categories are there in these things? Like, what does that even mean? You know, best left-handed actress. He's got a record, he's got a Grammy, my dear friend, Jewel, doesn't.

44:18 And

44:29 we didn't even bring it to you. Jewel needs a bit to play. We did not. Maybe we should, Jacob, cut that in.

44:37 All right. So I do think their banter back and forth was really good, 'cause I love the fact that Tommy goes to, we've got senators, we've got ex-presidents on our board, and I love the line,

44:50 nobody can escalate anything higher than we can and the fact that that you know that is why you're here right now. Right. I love that part. I also love the, God damn it, we named a tanker after

45:06 Condoleezza Rice.

45:09 First woman at the Masters, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, custom member. I've got a great - I guess so, yeah. Oh, here's what I'm gonna do. I've got a great picture of me Condoleezza Rice that

45:17 I'll send to Jacob to kill him right now on this. It looks like I'm telling her a dirty joke. Really? And she's laughing. What do you think? I'm really curious, like - What were you telling - Oh,

45:26 where are you telling? Oh, where are you telling her? You have to tell us now, like - No, I can't - It wasn't. I can't actually - You were telling her that you're oil and gas finance guy, right?

45:37 Probably. And she was laughing. I'm very important in my own mind, Condoleesa. Yeah, no, anyway, she was actually really cool. Coolest thing Condoleesa writes, 'cause she gave a speech at

45:47 Rice University one night and I went and saw it. Coolest thing she said. Wonderful. The what? Are you sworn a secrecy about what you told her?

45:57 No, so I'm fucking drunk and can't remember. The coolest thing she said that night was somebody got up and said, as a woman, have you been disadvantaged your whole career and have you had to

46:13 struggle and have all these white men gone after you and stuff, and Condoleezza Rice said yeah, probably harder for me than other people But at some point, when I had control of the US nuclear

46:28 arsenal, it was on me.

46:33 Right, yeah, so - That's great. She's like, she has some good bullshit. No, she's a total bad-ass. Dude, she said she wanted to go golf with her. You'd want to fucking hang out. Yeah,

46:42 'cause you're right. I'd want her to be commissioner of the NFL. She'd do a great job. Oh, brother, yeah, I was a great idea. I mean, she was talking about sitting there with Putin, and she

46:52 said Putin got mad at her, stood up, and gotten her face, she said, I got right back in his face. And somebody else? That's hot as hell. Yeah, oh yeah, totally. So hot. Probably cut here.

47:05 So this is a great trivia question. Who was the love of her life? Oh, I don't know. Rick Upchurch, the old Denver Broncos wide receiver fell in love with them, they broke up, she never got

47:18 married. Yeah. I didn't even know she wasn't married, I had no idea. Yeah. Wow. No, but she's - Somebody's a rice in this. Yeah, we do. Condi, come on the show. Condi, come on Condi, yes,

47:29 please. You got any minerals? So.

47:34 So, let's go real quick. Everything the tanker touches. Okay, let's go real quick to the bromance between Andy Garcia and Billy Bob Thornton.

47:50 Matt hit us on that. I mean, he was like helping him walk. out and everything. Yeah. And I think that's a good point about like, did he know him before him because he saved his life? Like he

47:60 took him out of there and he was just very casual about like, yeah, you're still an asshole. Like I still don't, you know, I still don't want to deal with you right now. Like, but I do think it

48:10 does set up the relationship for future episodes. That's the farm out. That's the farm out that we saw that was from 90s. Yeah. By the way, the relationship. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

48:25 Yeah. I was just giving them credit.

48:31 I loved it. Like, I think that like, yeah, sure, he's tortured, you know, many dozen people, but that's really when I have a beer with that guy. Like, I want to hang out. You know, he's so

48:42 like sober and realistic about his own industry. You know, and then Tommy's like, well, ours is running out quickly too, just not as quickly as yours. And, you know, they had just such a. A

48:53 moment there you just but but it almost kind of ruins like the future like there's going to be peace now so maybe there's no drama or you know what I mean like no I don't I don't think so because

49:05 they'd make drama sure I think there's still going to be drama because you know he's not running everything on the ground Yeah by that the boss isn't in control of everything that happens on the

49:19 ground which was proven by the fact that he went and you know had to kill the dude that was portraying tommy right so one one point can we go back to real quick though when what's his face with well

49:35 second because I'm the soundtrack guy to this show when they go into the Mexican strip club I have no idea what song was playing but it kept talking about El Gato Right Yeah Gato And the girl, by the

49:51 way, had purple nipples. They didn't want to see that. Yeah. You've been to a Hastings place on live. Well, with a space car, there was that one here in town that had the hot tub that everyone

50:01 got. That was really weird. I hated that place. Anyway. Again, a little more ahead inside. I have no idea what they're saying about. You drove me there, '90s.

50:11 So real quick though, so that was obviously very sadistic. It was pouring gasoline on the mask He was talking about cutting off the senses. He punched it and did this and that. So the anxiety

50:26 level you felt like, if number one was Mary Poppins, and number 10 was the hobbling scene in misery when she's cutting off his legs, or maybe like Jodie Foster and Silence of the Lamb when she has

50:41 the glasses on, or maybe even like the dinner scene in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, That's 10. What were you feeling during that? I thought it was a solid seven. Nothing compared to - I was

50:54 creeped out, but it wasn't that freaky. I was freaked, I was freaked the fuck out. Like I pictured myself being in Tommy's position, but nothing is like provoked more anxiety. Like that was like

51:06 number two. You know what number one was? What? When fucking Ainslie talked about the dude coming on her in the first episode, that gave me more anxiety than anything else because as a dad,

51:18 you're like, oh God, like can you imagine hearing some shit like that? Like that was more torture. I'm sorry to go from 10. That's so 10 to episode eight. That was all your blood pressure up.

51:26 Way more than, yeah. I'd rather be tortured. Then the torture. I'd rather get a fucking 10 rusty nails in my leg than my daughter ever say some shit like that to me. Ever. Like this is the worst

51:36 thing, I'm sorry, but that was horrible. How do you feel? Same?

51:43 Like what's worse?

51:45 Yeah it works very well because because of them

51:53 because you're a woman you're getting the right you too will have some weird conversations about sex and whatever and I will never have those because she'll be doing bible study about God that's about

52:06 the only one without a daughter in the group so

52:11 Yeah I'd like it if my daughter starts dating some big ASS quarterback you know I'm not the tallest toughest biggest guy in the world I Gotta call your ASS like you're pretty tall in that culture Yeah

52:27 I I you know I got to go in there and put a gun to his head or something cause I I'm going to or drive you know nails into his leg after I drug him or what I'm not which I will do which I one hundred

52:38 percent will do pour gasoline on his head I will love it Yeah, I'm doing it for saying that because I'm surprised none of you who are fathers of daughters Mentioned that your first up. It's oh, he

52:52 did. I've said it every time. I can't take it

52:59 I hate it. They keep the underage thing is too much. Yeah, it's right. They keep us going to it

53:12 Patrick's right. So please it's the it please please go to the club video and search Chuck Yates talking about the daughter No, you didn't. I remember that In land man because yeah, I've been all

53:24 over all right. Here's what we're going to do. Anybody in the audience got a question something they want I get a shine or 90s or Saint Arnold's a legend. I've never had a Saint Arnold's in my life

53:34 He was talking like you mentioned about he's more interested in what's under the surface, right? Right going back to episode one When Tommy's also you put it up. What what was the least that they

53:44 saw? Was it just a service agreement? That was a service agreement. Yeah, or get the cut Well ready. Yeah, no, they got paid they got paid some surface rights and some damages, but that was it

53:56 Yeah, well, I'm sorry. I missed the whole thing because I was fucking with 90s over here No, that's all

54:02 right I was like do they have any kind of mineral interest that first episode he had signed off on that lease. Are you talking about Andy Garcia? No, no, no, wait, we handled it

54:15 All right, but Yeah, we got another question, go V. I wanted to just hear from all of you. I've watched all your episodes. We've been really good. Awesome. My wife and I love the show. And

54:27 just predictions for next season, like this Monty live, what happens with Garcia and what do you guys maybe have? So let's do that, and this is our close out. So bore, hit us up, predictions

54:39 for series season two. It's really hard to predict 'cause they're really setting up things that can trail either way, which is very like Taylor Sheridan. But Andy Garcia is gonna play a role for

54:50 sure unless they're doing this whole A-list actor, not like they did with Demi Moore, exactly, but maybe Demi's coming back. I don't think that my prediction is, I don't think John Hamm's gonna

55:04 die. I think they're gonna find a heart donor, and I think he's gonna live, and he'll be out for several months. The farm out will work, and you know he'll come back in because he's they talk

55:16 about him being the luckiest guy alive, right? And he's gonna come back into strikes, which is my least favorite fucking turn. Somebody's gonna be, somebody's gonna die on his deal and that's how

55:31 it's gonna happen. Yeah, yeah, I think so. Yeah, something like that. But I think the farmhouses, they drill well. Someone dies on the field and they give their heart to Lonnie. Yes. That's

55:41 what I think is gonna happen I think so, what if it's Cooper, perfectly fine with me? Fuckin' Rebecca, Cooper. I would love that. Let's just kill Rebecca and give the heart to Lonnie. There you

55:52 go. Cut her out. All right, Gates, what's gonna happen season two? Yeah, somebody's gonna die in the field and Lonnie's gonna get the heart and - Amazing. He's gonna - Cartels and the

56:09 organization. He's gonna sum up a recover, but he's gonna recover to uh. Situation that is not what he envisioned when he

56:23 went into cardiac arrest and high jinks will ensue Yeah got it or it's just going to continue rolling from there the guy made seven hundred million dollars and is so stressed about everything you know

56:39 like I just want to point that out like remember that talk about like he made like seven hundred million so Yeah so so one of these so fuckin stress one of the CEOS I backed was Barry Mullinax and I

56:50 Dunno if You know Barry but a barry always named his companies after bad seventies detective shows so like Panther Man X Maxwell Tomorrow Anyway My Partner Danny would get on the phone and just

57:04 fucking yell at Barry Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah and I would always ask barry like how do you take that berries I Dude I was homeless and lived in a car I now have a house in Durango

57:17 I got a jacuzzi there denning yell at me all he wants I don't give a shit so alright matt what's going to happen in season two Yeah I guess i Guess Mani could end up being a vegetable or he can be

57:30 kind of in a stand off role or he ends up to I think the most likely thing as he dies probably and Billy Bob assumes the role of President for you know the the for permanent time and I think Rebecca

57:45 gets Gone at some point I think unfortunately the show is going to like make her even stronger as like a negotiator Landman and I hate it but like she's going to hang around and if there's any fuckin

57:58 prayer in the world that Taylor Sheridan is watching our Youtube he's going to be like Oh Yeah bore Yep

58:06 She's got my Fucking Shit Party with Rick Yeah fucking fucking rick and Rebecca are chilling somewhere there's definitely going to be a massive fire at some point because this show has once five six

58:20 seven record labels at this point you know like I mean they don't I mean they do not care Yeah maybe at the plant but not out in the field man I mean

58:33 so I I Yeah I think I think what what about your what happens with cooper what do you think here's what I think about meteors like they're going to Gate they're going to give cooper more of starlight

58:45 is going to go on his own he's going to keep negotiating the shitty leases he's going to keep doing that thing and and eventually get eighteen percent you deserve twenty five no one tiny room and then

58:55 he's going to look him in her

58:59 AM and her are moving welcome they're moving to San Antonio with Me and Lamb in life because that's where she wants to be it's been the most amazing thing in ft history if they fucking moved to San

59:12 Antonio. Okay, and they mentioned Mattoui in the show. They're like, we got, we're going to do a deal with Mattoui. Whoo! We made it! We put all that fringe, Scurry County bullshit.

59:28 We did

59:30 it! And we found Mattoui in the most magical city on earth.

59:36 And we went down the road. Whoo! And we're all healthy as shit. You're right. 'Cause the warden, She got us all right, like she. Talk to the dude. He's just watching radar dopple.

59:47 Like how interesting in that. Everybody just made it. Thrusters, thrusts off millionaires. Let's go.

59:54 Okay, so I hate to say this, you are all wrong.

59:60 Season two. Mattoui lands up. 572 million acquisition. Unbelievable. From some dumb shit that's watching this podcast. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. That's number one. I love it. Number two,

1:00:18 money is in the coma the whole year. I don't think we see John Hamm. It's the body double when they cut to him. Tommy CEO, his starlight appearance and sells the farm out because he appears on

1:00:34 Chuck Yates needs a job, the podcast.

1:00:38 You're gonna be tempted here on Chuck Gates. Exactly.

1:00:43 And then number three, the thing that happens is Paramount calls and says, Who are these four fuckheads talking about our show? And we're paid, one hundred thousand dollars

1:00:58 Yeah ever again Yeah My Vision is a little different yeah but I think that happens i Guys' yell are all great to show up we've loved doing this we've had a blast if we can think of a reason to talk

1:01:19 about this next week and drink whiskey which is probably yes yes we'll do it I'm moving in or moving to houston